Donald Trump Shoves the Truth, takes its Lunch Money and Makes it Cry

Donald Trump 2Glen Kessler, the patient, saint of a man that presides over the Washington Post Fact Checker column, has created a collection of Donald’s Trumps  worst lies in a single, malodorous lump.

All of Donald Trump’s Four-Pinocchio ratings, in one place“, is an ever-growing collection of the worst of Trumps lies, those rated “Four-Pinocchio”, or complete and total lies. Currently, out of 52 vetted statements 33 of them have been rated as such (63%). In comparison, 5 of 35 claims (14%) made by Hillary Clinton were given the same rating. In total, over 90% of Trump’s statements have been rated “Half-truths” or worse.

 

Republicans Make History in a Sad, Childish Way

As reported on NBC News in “Republicans decline to hear president’s budget“, the republican controlled House and Senate budget committees have made the historic decision to refuse a formal hearing of President Obama’s $4.1 Trillion  budget. Such a hearing has been a bipartisan courtesy extended to the President since the 1970’s.

The statements released by the leadership (pictured above) defend the action with assumptions and trite, personal criticism. Enzi, for example, claims that the administration is “unconcerned with our $19 trillion in debt.” Price assumes that the proposal will, “double down on the same failed policies.” The hearing, of course, would imply no acceptance of the proposed budget. It would, in fact, be an opportunity for criticism based on its actual content.

In essence, they were faced with the opportunity to be (or pretend to be) cooperative and respectful of their peers and they opted to throw a puerile public tantrum.

Verdict

The Budget and Accounting Act of 1921 requires the office of the President to submit a budget to congress, as a request, annually. It does not require Congress to hold a hearing of the submitted budget. This is the simple, bipartisan courtesy that the current leadership has chosen to ignore.

The Republican leadership responsible is charged with Dickory in the First Degree. As a result, they’re sentenced with the loss of their big-boy pants until they grow the hell up.

Ben Carson Apparently Thinks the United States and “The Howdy Doody Show” are the Same Age

Ben_Carson_at_CPAC_2015As reported by RawStory.com in “Ben Carson: Pledge of Allegiance and other ‘founding documents’ prove America is a Christian nation” Ben Carson is under the impression that the United States is, tops, 60 years old. The soft-spoken Republican Presidential Candidate and former neurosurgeon told a gathering in Gainesville, GA that he would work to place God at the “center” of American culture:

“The pledge of allegiance to our flag says we are one nation under God. Many courtrooms in the land on the wall it says ‘In God We Trust.’ Every coin in our pocket, every bill in our wallet says ‘In God We Trust. So if it’s in our founding documents, it’s in our pledges, in our courts and it’s on our money, but we’re not supposed to talk about it, what in the world is that?”

In light of this we’d like to remind Ben that “In God we Trust” was only made the national motto in 1956. It was 1957 that the phrase began appearing on paper currency (although it had appeared on some coins as early as 1864). As for the pledge, it was written in 1892 and officially adopted in 1945. However the phrase “under God” wasn’t added until 1954. It’s also worth noting that none of these are clear about exactly which God is to be trusted here.

Verdict

For those – like Mr. Carson – that need a refresher history course: None of these happened during the actual founding of the country. Rather, all of these changes were direct results of the Red Scare and McCarthyism. Seemingly, Ben Carson prefers decisions made during a period of mass hysteria and distrust by a paranoid, homophobic blowhard rather than the considered opinions of our actual Founding Fathers.

Carson is either demonstrating willful ignorance or flat out lying. In either case he earns a sentence of Dickory in the First Degree.

Happy Politics: Marriage is just Marriage

Same Sex MarriageAs being reported everywhere, the Supreme Court of the United States has, in a 5-4 ruling, declared marriage between consenting adults a civil right that cannot be infringed upon. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority:

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is Reversed. It is so ordered”

Yes, there are four justices who still have their heads up their asses, but we’re not going to dwell upon them today. Today we finally get to stop talking about gay and straight and just talk about marriage.

Many People in Idaho don’t Understand the Constitution

Idaho RepbulicansAs reported by John Timmer in Ars Technica, “Idaho Republicans want Bible in schools for ‘astronomy, biology, geology’“, the State Republican Party Central Committee of Idaho doesn’t understand the laws of the country in which they operate. In an otherwise rather dull set of proposed resolution they’ve included Resolution 2015-P20, “A Resolution Supporting Bible Use in Idaho Public Schools“.

In short the resolution, basically, says that 1) because both the state Constitution and the state Republican platform mentions a god, 2) that they believe a known lie about congress promoting the use of The Bible in schools in 1782 and 3) that the Supreme Court has upheld the use of The Bible in schools when used as piece of historical literature that it should be legal to use it all over the damn place (emphasis added):

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED,That the Idaho County Central Committee encourages the Idaho legislature to draft and support a bill stating that the Bible is expressly permitted to be used in Idaho public schools for reference purposes to further the study of literature, comparative religion, English and foreign languages, U.S. and world history, comparative government, law, philosophy, ethics, astronomy, biology, geology, world geography, archaeology, music, sociology, and other topics of study where an understanding of the Bible may be useful or relevant;

The resolution is mum as to why The Bible would be appropriate for use in Biology and Astronomy but not, say, Mathematics or Physics.

Verdict

As most school-children (well, at least those not in Idaho) are likely aware: use of The Bible in public schools, outside of its legitimate standing as a piece of literature, is an illegal promotion of religion. It’s sad that those wishing to run the country can’t be bothered to learn how it works.

The Committee’s ignorant, and likely willful, misunderstanding of the law earns them a shared charge of Dickory in the First Degree.

Donald Trump is a Terrible Person

Donald TrumpAs being reported everywhere (ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, USA Today,  TheDaily News, The New York Times, CNN, The Boston Globe and about a million others) Donald Trump is now officially running for president, rounding out the Republican field at an even dozen. This was pretty damn sad.

Almost as quickly, many sources let us know just how full of shit he was. This was even sadder:

If asked our opinion, we’d say that Trump isn’t really serious in his bid and that it’s simply a ploy to collect as much of the Republican’s crazy fringe as he can to eventually sell them off to the highest bidder with an endorsement. Serious or not, this move does make Trump, officially, a politician which allows us to cast judgement.

The Verdict

Trump is a politician that drenches us in Dumbassery, Douchebaggery and Dickory in torrential amounts. He has no positive traits whatsoever. He is convicted of the “Triple D”: Dumbassery, Douchebaggery and Dickory all in the Worst Degree. He is a terrible human being and is so sentenced to please, in the name of all goodness and light in the world, just go away.

Sarah Palin is Sad and Stupid, but mostly Stupid

Sarah PalinIt’s unclear why the media still pays any attention to Sarah Palin, much less her offspring, but as is being reported essentially everywhere, they apparently still have opinions. Stupid, stupid opinions.

The Washington Post sums up the particulars well enough in “Sarah Palin hits media ‘double standard’ on Duggars, calls Lena Dunham a ‘pedophile’” In short, the Palin’s feel that the media treats conservatives worse than they treat liberals.

We’re not going to get into the specific case at hand (or how it’s clearly, obviously massively different from the case that Palin is desperately trying to conflate it with). You can read about that in the WP article or any number of others. Instead, let’s just highlight some of her more insane statements. Palin wrote, for example:

“Such obvious double standards applied to equally relevant stories underestimate the wisdom of the public, discredit the press, and spit on the graves of every American who fought and died for the press’s freedom.”

Palin continues to labor under the delusion that the “mainstream” media enjoys a massive liberal bias. This despite, of course, all that pesky evidence to the contrary. Conservative bastion Fox News continues to best all comers in the cable news ratings.  Conservatives dominate talk radio talk radio due to the power of Clear Channel. In contrast MSNBC, the most liberal of the big three news networks, also gets consistently the lowest ratings and liberal radio syndicate Air America was unable to stay solvent.

Verdict

There will be no verdict applied in this case, as Palin migrated out of our jurisdiction when she quit her job as an elected official to become a full-time waste of skin. All we can do is hope that the organizations in charge of pointing out civilian stupidity remain vigilant.

The California Legislature is Inclusive of Everybody… Even this Sad Guy

In Christian Activist Files Ballot Measure To Execute All Gay People By ‘Bullets To The Head’ the The New Civil Rights Movement reports that California man Matt McLaughlin has paid $200 to create a ballot initiative for the 2016 California general election.

His extremely well considered and not at all insane Sodomite Suppression Act reads, in part:

“Seeing that it is better that offenders should die rather than that all of us should be killed by God’s just wrath against us for the folly of tolerating-wickedness in our midst, the People of California wisely command, in the fear of God, that any person who willingly touches another person of the same gender for purposes of sexual gratification be put to death by bullets to the head or by any other convenient method.”

Yes, Mr. McLaughlin wants to legally shoot gay people in the head to protect non-gay people from the wrath of the all-powerful, benevolent deity that created all of them.

Verdict

As Mr. McLaughlin is not a member of government he does lie outside our jurisdiction, so no judgement will be made.

It’s encouraging that a good number of lawmakers denounced the measure including a (denied) request from the Attorney General to summarily ignore request. Regardless, the measure still requires an astronomically unlikely 365,880 signatures to become part of the 2016 ballot.

Todd Russ (and the Majority of the Oklahoma State House) is Sadly Deranged

Todd Russ, OklahomaAs reported on “LGBTQNation.com”, “Okla. House OKs bill shifting issuance of marriage licenses from state to clergy“, the Oklahoma House passed House Bill 1125. The innocuously named bill – which let’s remember has passed the House – would mandate that all marriage licenses be issued by clergy, effectively eliminating secular marriage completely in the state.

The bill, as we all know from “Schoolhouse Rocks”, still requires passage by the State Senate before becoming a law. With a solid Republican majority behind the effort, however, that seems likely. Looks like the cartoon will need to be updated to reflect the inevitable Supreme Court challenge.

The law would require a ceremony to be performed and certificate to be issued by a “preacher, minister, priest, rabbi, or ecclesiastical dignitary”. Russ claims this “protects” county clerks from having to “recognize” same-sex marriage.

Todd clearly doesn’t realize that non-religious people, according to recent polls, make up as much as a third of Americans. Marriage, secular or otherwise, provides numerous secular benefits ranging from tax breaks to estate disposition to hospital visitation.

Verdict

Russ and, apparently, a majority of the Oklahoma House of Representatives fail to understand that marriage as a legal arrangement has as long a, if not longer, history than marriage as a religious rite. They also clearly enjoy wasting taxpayer time and money with ridiculous assertions that have absolutely no chance of passing constitutional muster.

For all of this we charge the Oklahoma House of Representatives with Dickory in the First Degree and Accessory Dumbassery. They are sentenced to remain, for the rest of their natural-born lives, in an Oklahoma that will soon leave them behind culturally, socially and politically.

Jim Inhofe is Depressingly Stupid

As reported on “The Hill”, “Inhofe Hurls Snowball on Senate Floor“, Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe doesn’t understand the difference between “weather” and “climate”.

Inhofe seems to be suggesting that because it’s cold outside where he is, it can’t possibly be warm elsewhere. 2014 was, indeed, the hottest year ever recorded. Inhofe’s inane theatrics and inability to understand basic science can’t change that.

Verdict

It’s normally difficult to sentence somebody for being stupid, however it’s quite easy to do so for somebody this proud of being stupid. Inhofe is convicted with Dumbassery in the First Degree. For his sentence he will spend a week in drought-ridden California (currently experiencing the hottest winter on record) where he will presumably stand drooling and gibbering, amazed at the lack of snow in Winter.